Barrett Sisters, Philip Brunelle, Butch Thompson Trio. Garrison Keillor,
It's hot ( Garrison Keillor ) Buddy's habit (Butch Thompson Trio ) Someday sweetheart (Butch Thompson Trio ) Give me doctor jazz (Butch Thompson Trio ) Mabel's Dream (Butch Thompson Trio ) A lot to live ( Philip Brunelle ) His name is Jesus ( Philip Brunelle ) Lord lift us up ( Philip Brunelle ) How Great Thou Art ( Philip Brunelle ) See you in the rapture ( Philip Brunelle ) Amen ( Philip Brunelle ) At the cross ( Garrison Keillor , Philip Brunelle , Barrett Sisters ) Amazing Grace ( Garrison Keillor , Philip Brunelle , Barrett Sisters ) Fountain filled with blood ( Garrison Keillor , Philip Brunelle , Barrett Sisters ) Oh God our help ( Garrison Keillor , Philip Brunelle , Barrett Sisters ) Near the cross ( Garrison Keillor , Philip Brunelle , Barrett Sisters ) Catskill mountains ( Garrison Keillor , Philip Brunelle ) Grandfather's cat ( Garrison Keillor , Philip Brunelle ) Cats of Laredo ( Garrison Keillor , Philip Brunelle )
Babe Ruth Bertha's Kitty Boutique Electric Hygienic Appliance Manufacturing Company Home Ordinance - Makers of Elbow Gel Men's Underwear Council Powdermilk Biscuits Professional Fishing Competition Shinola Corporation Vanilla Corporation of America Whippets Wisconsin Synod of the Unitarian Church
It's been a quiet week in Lake Wobegon, my hometown. The Whippets won last Sunday afternoon. They played the Freeport Flyers, and they won By a score of three to two, it was a great game. It was one of those close, tight games where everything that happens means a lot because it's so close.
People were so happy they won their first game of the season, their record now one and six, that people, oh, just like the circus, when the game was over, the fans streaming down out of the old Green bleachers there and talking to each other, you know, hanging around there by the popcorn stand, talking about the game and this play and that and that long throw from right field that cut off the runner trying to come in, tag up and come in. Caught him by about a foot and a half. How exciting.
People don't always talk to each other when they come out of a whippets game. Sometimes they just... walk out of the stands real fast with their heads down and go away, you know? Kind of ashamed, I guess, for having wasted a Sunday afternoon like that. It's like people leaving a cow flop throwing contest.
They wouldn't talk to each other a lot, you know, on their way out of something like that. You just want to get out of there and not have people see that you'd been there. And the Whippets have had six cow flop games. So victory was sweet, the first one. People hung around for a while.
And then the team and some of their friends went down to the sidetrack tap to sit around and talk about baseball, which they like to do down at the sidetrack tap because it's dim in there, see. And you want not real good light for telling stories.
You want to sit kind of in the half dark like we are right now. They had a couple pictures of beer, and somebody said to Wally, said, Wally, who was behind the bar, said, Wally, what year was that that the all-star game come into Lake Wobegon? Wally said, that was in 1934. I thought you knew that.
The one with Babe Ruth. I said, yes, that was in 1934. Tell about that. You were there, weren't you? Yes, I was, he said. Tell about that. Oh, he said, I've told that story 20 times, 30 times. I said, tell about that.
How come Babe Ruth and his all-star barnstorming team came into Lake Wobegon in October after the World Series to play the Lake Wobegon town team, the Schroders? Well, it was like this, Wally said. He had a Monday night date in Little Falls and he had a Wednesday night date in Staples.
So he had the Tuesday afternoon free and they figured they might as well play in Lake Wobegon. Now this was back, Babe Ruth did this every fall. He went out with what they called an all-star team.
Now it was just a bunch of second stringers that nobody ever heard of who were willing to play for cheap on a team with Babe Ruth who'd go barnstorming across the country.
On this trip in this fall, they went from Chicago all the way out to Seattle by train, stopping and playing games in all the little towns along the way against the town team, Babe Ruth. They traveled by train. Now, he did this for sponsors, you see. They'd always have a sponsor of the Babe Ruth all-star team.
One year it was Sorbasol, and I believe one year it was Weetina. or neutrina, or detrina might have been. This year it was sponsored by the electric hygienic appliance manufacturing company of Binghamton, New York, which made a battery-operated wand that supposedly you pass it over your body and it would cure constipation, diarrhea, aches and pains, neuralgia, everything else that would possibly be wrong for you, including the diminution of the miracle impulse, what they called in the advertisements.
So he was going around the country barnstorming for the electric hygienic appliance manufacturing company of Binghamton, New York, and his train pulled into Lake Wobegon. It backed the 18 miles up the Lake Wobegon spur off the main line of the NP. And it was on this Tuesday morning in the month of October, Babe Ruth on the train.
It was exciting. This was back before TV. And back in the days when people mainly read the newspaper and listened to the radio, and so they were able to use their imaginations, and they certainly used them where Babe Ruth was concerned. To them, it was like God almost had dropped in in town.
Nowadays, you see, it would be different. We'd see Babe Ruth a lot, see. We'd see him, oh, maybe on morning TV shows. and he'd have a book to plug, you know, his latest diet book or something, and he'd demonstrate stir-fry cooking and he wouldn't be the big hero. But back then he was, except he wasn't to the Lake Wobegon Schroders. They were the town team and they were going to play the Babe Ruth All-Stars. The Schroders were an unusual town team. They were called the Schroders back before the Whippets because they were all brothers, all nine of them. Members of the E.J. Schroder family.
He was the dad, Edwin J. Schroder. And there were actually ten brothers, but only nine of them played. The tenth one was too little, and there was something wrong with him. So the nine of them played, and they were... They ranged from, I believe, 18 to 27 years of age, born, as they say back home, nine months and ten minutes apart. They were all named Edwin. He named all of his sons after himself. Their first names were all Edwin. Then, of course, he gave them different middle names.
There was Edwin Robert, Bob, and there was Edwin John, and there was Edwin Bernard. That was Bernie. He was the pitcher. He was a nice guy. and Edwin Jim and Edwin Tim. So they called them by their middle names, you see, but they were all named Edwin. Somebody asked him why he did that.
He said, "'Cause I want them to know that they're mine." The old man was a mean person. He was not a nice guy at all. These kids were terrific ballplayers, nine of them on one team, the Lake Wobegon Schroeders. He was mean. They say that he was mean starting back in about 19-odd-four when he came down to Minneapolis to play in a state championship ball game at the Polo Grounds out by Fort Snelling in 1904. And in the ninth inning, Lake Wobegon having loaded the bases and being one run down with one out,
And the old man, who was not old then, being on third base, he was suckered in by the hidden ball trick or a variation on it. When the Minneapolis pitcher, at this crucial point in the game, stood there on the mound, preparing to pitch, and then suddenly pitched over backwards and turned purple.
His eyes bulged out in his head. His tongue stuck out his mouth. He was drooling and gasping, writhing around on the floor, on the ground, on the mound. And everybody run up to help him, including the three base runners. And when they got there, he tagged them all out. One, two, three. They felt so dumb.
All the guys on the Minneapolis team stand around laughing. They thought it was the funniest thing. These hicks caught in the state championship by the old hidden ball trick, they thought it was a gas.
Well, he became mean about that time, old man Schroeder, and he developed a talent which few other players in baseball had ever had before or ever have had since, and that was a knack for hitting foul balls to any part of the stands that he chose. It was just unbelievable to see him do it.
He didn't hit all that well into fair territory. But he'd be able to stand up there and crouch at the plate, and any kind of a pitch, they'd throw him fast, curve ball down, low up high, inside or out.
He'd be able to just take that bat and just tip that ball, just tick that ball, just foul that ball off, and hit any part of the stands that he wanted to or the opponent's dugout, which he often did. so that nobody ever booed him at all.
You never dared say a word about him if you went to see him play ball, because he'd look at you with those hard eyes under those big black eyebrows, and you knew you'd better watch out the rest of the game whenever he came up to bat.
He was barred from baseball in the old side shanty league for life in 1918 when he hit the home plate umpire 28 times in a row with foul tips. 28. He was mad because he'd been called out on strikes the time before, so he just sent foul tip after foul tip straight back at this man.
They didn't wear face masks at that time. And this man, the umpire, was a Christian gentleman, and he believed in turning the other cheek, but he had turned every cheek he had to the Schroeder. And finally, after the 28th foul tip had come and hit him, he looked at him and he said, you're out of here. forever.
The rest of your life, go. So his sons, that's all he had left, was to make a team out of his sons. And he schooled those boys and he drilled those boys and he worked them hard from the time that the snow melted in the spring until the snow fell in the fall.
He was working them every night, playing baseball and drilling them. They were a little bit taller and a little bit bigger than most boys were back then. Boys weren't as tall then. These guys were about 6'2", 6'4", big strapping kids.
And he never encouraged them, which I guess was why they worked so hard maybe and they got so good, was that they thought if they just worked a little harder, Their dad would say, that's good. You're a good boy. But he never did. So they worked harder and got better. There were other teams around that were good.
But when you saw the Lake Wobegon Schroders play, it was like a machine. It was just unreal. The Babe's train backed into Lake Wobegon Station about 10 a.m. on that Tuesday morning in October of 1934. With the Babe aboard, a green train with silver and gold trim and red velvet curtains at the windows, there were about 30 men waiting for it when it come in. More joined them as it sat there by the station in the morning.
The men who went out to the train were country people, but they had a sense of dignity. They weren't a bunch of yahoos and hayseeds, so they didn't go out there and stare and gawk at the babe's car that they assumed he was in, the one with all the curtains drawn. They stood in the field next to it with their backs to it, looking out across the field towards the trees and the lake as if they were there doing some kind of job or were about to get a job to do. They were hanging around in a purposeful manner looking away and looking back over their shoulders ever so often, but mainly looking away across the field. And as more men came across the field, the first comers kind of gave the newcomers the cold shoulder. The newcomers come across and they said, is he in there? Is Babe Ruth? Have you seen him? Is he in there?
The first comers I said, yeah, I suppose he's in there. It's his train. Wouldn't send Babe Ruth's train around the country without Babe Ruth in it, you don't suppose, do you? The newcomers joined the first comers. They stood there, hands in their pockets, looking around out across the field, their backs to the train.
Other guys come up, said, Babe Ruth in there? Yeah, he's in there. Why? Of course he's in there. like their job was maybe to guard the train against other guys who would come up later to see if Babe Ruth was there. And finally Babe Ruth came out. He was dressed in white linen knickers.
He walked into the station and into a car, and he did not look well at all. He tried to smile. and the look on his face made people turn away. He was dripping wet, although it was a cool day. He looked sick. He trembled, and at one point, approaching the car, he stumbled, and men reached out to hold him. He got into the car. He slid across the seat. He turned and was sick over the side. People looked away when that happened. Nowadays I think people might look, but then they look away.
And the car drove him to the ballpark, all of the all-stars following in a truck. There were over a thousand people at the ballpark to see the game, which began at three o'clock in the afternoon. And already people knew that Babe was sick.
Some people said he was drunk, but other people who'd come close to his breath said, no, he was not drunk. Although a man had thrown a bag off the back of the train full of beer bottles, and boys dove in to get one. one of the Babe's bottles. Some people still have them in Lake Wobegon today.
One of Babe Ruth's beer bottles. They said, no, he wasn't drunk. He just looked dazed and weak and feverish. The word spread at the ballpark that he was sick, but everybody came and paid their admission anyway. Twenty-five cents to get a seat, ten cents to stand along the foul lines. thousand people there as they pulled up.
Babe and the All Stars changed into their uniforms in the dugout. There was no other place for them to change. People looked away as they did that. Nowadays I think people would look in and see guys changing, but then they looked away. It was different.
Babe and his team went out and tossed the ball around to warm up, and then the Schroders went out there, and they warmed up, and they were nervous. They were nervous. You could tell they were nervous by how hard they were trying to be cool and calm.
And they'd look at each other and kind of smile, but it wasn't a very good-looking smile. And they'd kind of laugh or try to, but it wasn't a laugh that came out. It was kind of... trying to be cool, and they'd wind up, and they'd throw the ball in warm-up, and it'd go 20 feet over the guy's head and way out there. They were nervous except for their dad, old E.J. He took his son aside. He took Bernie aside, and he said, first thing, he comes up to bed.
If he does come up to bed, I want you to put the first one high inside right in his ear. Bernie said, I don't know. I don't think you'll come to bat, Dad. He doesn't look well. He doesn't look like he could lift a bat. EJ said, I want you to stick it right in his ear.
You'll never have another chance. They came out to the plate for the ceremonies to shake hands, exchange lineups, talk to the umps. The babe came out, old man Schroeder come out for the Lake Wobegon team. They exchanged lineups. They shook hands. They turned to face the crowd. E.J. put his arm around the babe's shoulder and leaned up and whispered in his ear, you're a dead man, babe. He said, this is the last game of baseball you'll ever play in your life. He said, that first pitch going to come in high, hard, inside, into your ear, and you'll never get it out.
Babe walked back to the dugout and sat down. Now people were wondering if he was going to play at all. He did not look well at all. He looked very shaky and very pale. He looked like a man who didn't know where he was. Now, folks, this was in a different era in baseball and in our country.
There were some people at this game before it started who said, let's change the rules. This is just an exhibition game. Let's change the rules so that the babe can just go up and bat and he don't have to go out in the field and play a position. He could bat for the pitcher. It wouldn't hurt anybody.
People here want to see him bat. Why don't we just change the rules? This was in a different time in our history when a man did not pick up a bat unless that man was willing to pick up a glove. I tell you, people said, we changed the rules, but it won't hurt anybody. But you start to change a rule like that, and what else is going to change then? Then where is it going to stop? Loyalty, responsibility, hard work, patriotism, is that all? We're going to change that too at our convenience. Those people said, no, we're not changing the rules.
So the babe sat in the dugout, and the game commenced. He sat in there. There was an ice bucket at his side, and there was a man soaking cloths in it and putting them on the babe's forehead. He was so hot, although it was autumn. It was a good game.
It was a good game and people enjoyed it. And yet they couldn't remember much about it afterward because they were all just waiting for one thing, Babe Ruth, to come up to bat. It was a good game and they watched it and yet something was missing. It was a good game. The last game of baseball on a fall afternoon, glorious fall in Minnesota, when the woods turn majestic colors and when the world smells of apples and leather and wood smoke and horses, And you have the feeling that we live in a country that books are written about.
Where here in Minnesota kings and queens would ride on their white horses through the golden cornfields and into the blazing oranges and reds of the woods. And it would all be here in Minnesota. It's a majestic time of year. It was a good game, the last game of the season.
Men out there playing, men being boys again for the last time before the snow falls and we have to all get serious and go to school and study winter. But they were all waiting for the babe. They were just playing, waiting for the babe to come.
Every inning, the babe would stand up and smile and wave to the people and they'd all cheer. And then he'd sit down again. Between every inning, Bernie would go and sit in the dugout, and EJ would say, stick it in his ear, the first pitch when he comes up. Look at him sitting there in his dugout.
That man earns more money than the President of the United States. I'll bet he's getting $250 just to sit there and have somebody put cold cloths on his forehead. big, fat, rich New York son of a bitch come out here, get our money. We'll show him. He comes up to bed. I want you to show him.
We're not just a bunch of hicks out here happy just for the pleasure of his company. There's a bunch of people out here who take baseball seriously, and that's us. And you show him when he comes up. As the game went on and it got darker, the sun began to go down out beyond right field.
And then it was time to go home. Twilight was coming on, and people turned. Nowadays they might boo, but back then people didn't boo. They accepted disappointment. And then people said, wait, there he is. And he stood up out of the dugout, and he walked out to home plate and stood there.
And then it was just two people, Bernie on the mound and the babe at the plate, and that was all that mattered. They stood there and people threw back their heads and yelled as loud as they could for a minute. And Babe heard the roar of the crowd like an ocean turned around, held up his hand and they all fell still. And he turned to face the picture.
A day seemed to pass, and Bernie wound up for the first pitch, and he bent down low, and he reached way back, and he kicked real high, and the whole world turned, and he threw. And the umpire said, strike one. And the catcher turned around and said, shut up. This doesn't concern you, he said.
This is between them. The umpire was embarrassed. He knew he was right. He didn't have to point that out. Everybody knew it was a strike. They threw the ball back out to the mound. Bernie bent down and he looked in. Everybody was absolutely still and didn't move a muscle.
They wanted to see and hear everything that happened so that they could always remember everything about this moment. When Babe Ruth played in Lake Wabakon, they wanted to remember everything about it from the taste of the cotton candy in their mouths to the look of the gentlemen's hats and the smell of wool and the cool mist of autumn moving in and the first star that was appearing in the sky and the sun going down in right field and the outfielder standing perfectly motionless and the feel of your father's big hand and your little hand inside it. They wanted to remember everything that happened.
As Bernie bent down low and he reached way back and he kicked way up and he turned the world around and the ball came in and the babes swung and the ball went in the catcher's mitts. And the babe went, and they threw the ball back out. Everybody just stood still. About a week passed.
And Bernie was ready for the third pitch. And he looked in and he bent way down and he reached way back and he kicked way up and the whole world turned and he threw that ball in there and the babe swung and there was a crack like the sound of lightning as that little white ball became a star in the sky and the babe started to run as people watched the ball hang up in the air. It was still hanging there as the babe started running towards first and as he turned first and he was stumbling and then he was running and he was running that graceful trot of Babe Ruth big man but so graceful almost dancing as he trotted those little steps with his head down and his little feet and his delicate thin ankles trotting along towards second and as he come around second base he heard the roar of the crowd come up and he looked at him and he smiled and he lifted his cap and he ran around third base, and he come in towards home, and as he made the turn at home plate, he looked completely well again. He looked handsome, and he looked happy. He looked like the greatest ballplayer who ever lived in the history of the human race.
And he disappeared into the dugout, and they were all gone a minute later. And everybody went home. That ball, ladies and gentlemen, was never found. People have looked for it for years. It may still be out there. Everybody went home and remembered it for the rest of their lives. The whippet said, and you were there.
And Wally said, yeah, I was there. Is that true, they said. He said every word. And that's the news from Lake Wobegon, Minnesota. where all the women are strong, all the men are good looking, and all the children are above average.
The All-Star baseball game will be next Tuesday in Minneapolis. This was the last show from the Orpheum Theater. GK now goes on the road until the new shows from the World Theater in October.
Star Tribune Jul 12 1985
1985.07.12 Star Tribune / rebroadcast on July 30, 1988.
Archival contributors: Frank Berto