[undocumented]
...I think about that Olofson girl, Tina, who moved down to the city she came down here, went to college. Married a boy who sat next to her in psychology class, to whom she always gave the answers. Gave him enough good ones so that he got into law school. Got on with a good law firm, they bought a nice house by Lake Harriet in Minneapolis. Started having children. That was about 20 years ago, 20 some years ago. Some of the children already grown up and moved out just to have one left.
So that when her mother wrote to her about two weeks ago and said your Uncle Ed has to come down for an operation Monday next, but it would be more convenient for me if I could bring him down on Friday. Could you put up with him for a couple of days? She said, of course. So down he came.
Her Uncle Ed is one of what we call Norwegian bachelor farmers. Old old man- lives in a two room house just west of town. Farms about 80 acres with the help of a couple of big black Belgian horses named Queenie and Gus. Raises wheat mainly. Lives by himself. Keeps his place fairly neat according to his own standards. Keeps himself fairly clean according to the same. Splashes on a little wintergreen every week or so. Whenever he feels uncomfortable being with himself, he takes a bath.
He came down on a Friday night. Never been to the city before. Tina opened the door, and there he was- her old uncle Ed. Dressed in a blue wool suit from about 40 years ago- he probably bought it now, but it was used then. He looked so frightened she couldn't help but put her arms around him. Let him into the house, sat him down in the kitchen, got a little strong coffee in him. Little Brandy. He felt a little better so that he could almost talk.
He said, “well, then, how are you, Tina?”
She said “I'm just fine”, she said. “How are you?” He’s a little hard of hearing- gotta speak up into his right ear.
He said “I never felt better in my life. I don't know whose damn silly idea this was, anyway.”
That was about it for conversation. Norwegian bachelor farmers don't waste a lot of time talking. He was tired. She took him up to the bedroom. Put him to bed. Went up there the next morning, found that he had slept all night in the chair. Said the bed was too big for him. Didn't want to mess up the covers. She brought him down. He sat down to breakfast with her and her husband and the boy. Husband tried to ask him questions about farming with horses and about his boyhood and the rest of it.
Uncle Ed didn't have much to say. Norwegian bachelor farmers do not necessarily answer when people ask them dumb questions. Somebody wants to ask a dumb question that's their business.
“Well, that must be sure interesting uncle Ed, farming with those horses and all. And that wheat and everything. 80 acres, huh? Out west of town, huh?”
“yep...”
After breakfast she took him out and back in the yard in the chaise lounge. He sat down, put his head back and he went to sleep. She sat there by him. Just to have a look at him. Old old man. Big tangle of white hair on the top of his head probably never been combed. Blue wool suit that he’d slept in. His old work boots on. No tie, but his white shirt buttoned right up to the top. That's formal for a Norwegian bachelor farmer. That's for when they go out- they button the top button.
She took his hand in hers. Big hand. And she remembered when she was four or five years old out at his farm, how he picked her up and sat her down on top of one of the big black Belgian horses. Which for her was like somebody putting her up on top of a house. And he walked along beside as the horse walked around in the yard to be held onto her with his hand. And then later sitting on the front of the hayrick holding onto the rail, and he was standing there beside her as the horses went trotting out across the yard and across the pasture. And the harness jingling.
And they stopped at the fence. And he got off to open up the fence and he put the reins in her hand. And he said, “you hold him now, Tina.” And she sat there and she pulled back as hard as she could pull.
And she said, “whoa.” Even though those horses wouldn't have taken a step without his saying so. She was there and she remembered all that. That was a long time ago.
Well, she decided she'd take him out for a night on the town. In a city he'd never seen. Her husband said, “oh, I think he'd be a lot happier just staying here in the house with us.”
And she said, “maybe so, but he's never seen the city before. And I would feel, if I kept him here, that maybe part of it was because I was ashamed to be seen with him. So we're going to take him downtown.”
And they got in the car. She sat in the backseat with Uncle Ed. They drove around the lakes. He was kind of curious about people running around the lakes. What were they doing? She said they were doing that for exercise, Uncle Ed. He said that's kind of dumb ain’t it? Why don't they get work? Why don't they get jobs?
They went downtown. They took him to a restaurant at a hotel. They walked in the Mater Dei looked at him. Looked at this old man in the old suit. With his work boots on. His hair not combed, looked at the well dressed couple and their well dressed son. Mater Dei thought, well, that's their business.
He gave him a table back in the corner back behind a palm tree. Uncle Ed is hard of hearing. When he talks, his voice carries all the way to the kitchen. The waiter brought him a Brandy which he had asked for. Uncle Ed looked at it. He picked out the ice cubes.
"God damn” he said. “Charge you 2 bucks for a drink and then they water it down.”
He picked out the ice cubes. Tina's husband was looking off at the ceiling. He was looking off at the walls as if he didn't know these people. They just come in. They've been seated at his table. He was not with them. This was not happening. The boy sat there grinning. He'd never seen his dad so embarrassed. He wanted to see more of it.
Tina she sat by her uncle and she talked. She carried on a monologue. And when people at other tables kind of snuck a stare over at them she looked right back at them. She stared right back at them. As if there was nothing wrong. And when they got up she went with him to the salad bar and when he said “God damn they sure give you small plates, don't they?”
She said “yes they do.”
And when he heaped it all up with a macaroni salad, she paid no attention. And when the waiter brought him the broiled torsk with the sauce on it Uncle Ed took a bite of it and he said “that's a hell of a shame to do that to a fish.”
She just kept on talking. She just kept on talking about the family and all the people that she remembered from when she was young. And the people who come over from Norway. And all about their history.
Well, he went in for the operation on Monday. They let him out on Friday. The doctors said six months or a year they didn't know how long. But then again, with somebody like Uncle Ed, there's no telling. They drove him home to the farm. The horses were there waiting for him. Queenie and Gus, they hadn't eaten all week. The horses they knew something was wrong. They'd been standing all week out behind the barn looking for him off down the road.
The car came in the yard and they saw he was in it, and they called to him. And he managed to walk over there and get out a couple years of corn and a pail of oats and fork, full of hay, and put it down for them. And he spoke to him in Norwegian. The only language those horses understand. And he told them that the city was a hellhole but some of the people in it weren't bad.
And he was glad to be back. And he was tired. And he was going to go in and lay down and take a nap. And tomorrow they would go out and cultivate.
And that's the news from Lake Wobegon, Minnesota, where all the women are strong all the men are good looking, all the children are above average
This news transcription is not from this date. Can anyone help correctly date it?